There are only three things certain in life: death, taxes, and international breaks. While the players traipse off to take part in meaningless friendlies and marginally less meaningless World Cup qualifiers, let us revel in a Premier League weekend packed to the brim with wanton thrashings, breathless derbies, Davids slaying their Goliath counterparts, and a Michael Carrick sighting.

Spurs suffocate Arsenal with nous and noose

While the North London Derby has seen the most goals scored out of all fixtures in the Premier League, the occasions have been closely contested in the recent past, with four draws in the last five matches. And so it proved in this encounter: Arsenal took the lead on the cusp of half time as Kevin Wimmer poked a delicious Mesut Ozil set piece into his own net, and Spurs regained parity just after half time when Dembele was brought down in the box and Harry Kane duly slotted away the penalty.

Although Arsenal had more passes in the final third and created more chances than Spurs, the visitors’ desire to battle for second balls, discipline, and three-man backline suffocated the Gunners. The home side got just two shots on target, one in the first half when Iwobi shot tamely at the keeper, and one in stoppage time when a Giroud header nestled straight in Lloris’s arms. Spurs also completed 12 dribbles compared to Arsenal’s 5, largely down to the magical feet of Dembele. When the Belgian dynamo took up the ball and ran, the opposition seemed to melt away from him multiple times, including the instance when Koscielny eventually upended him in the box.

Tottenham Hotspur's English striker Harry Kane (R) celebrates scoring his team's first goal from the penalty spot with Tottenham Hotspur's Belgian midfielder Mousa Dembele during the English Premier League football match between Arsenal and Tottenham Hotspur at the Emirates Stadium in London on November 6, 2016.  / AFP / BEN STANSALL / RESTRICTED TO EDITORIAL USE. No use with unauthorized audio, video, data, fixture lists, club/league logos or 'live' services. Online in-match use limited to 75 images, no video emulation. No use in betting, games or single club/league/player publications.  /         (Photo credit should read BEN STANSALL/AFP/Getty Images)
Tottenham Hotspur’s English striker Harry Kane (R) celebrates scoring his team’s first goal from the penalty spot with Tottenham Hotspur’s Belgian midfielder Mousa Dembele during the English Premier League football match between Arsenal and Tottenham Hotspur at the Emirates Stadium in London on November 6, 2016. BEN STANSALL/AFP/Getty Images

Arsenal have now dropped seven points at home from their first six games, which does not bode well for their title chances. Spurs still remain unbeaten, and while they will be happy with their performance in this draw, there are only so many stalemates a team can have before the title of ‘Invincibles’ loses its meaning.

Walking in a Klopp wonderland

Boss, we can’t run like manic rabbits the entire game, they said. Wait for a year, he said. But boss, the English league is tough as nails and we will be tired before long, they said. You will run together, he said. But boss, Adam Lallana, they said. Just wait and watch, he said.

This exchange between Klopp and his team may be fictionalized, but Liverpool fans must be giddy with excitement at seeing all of Klopp’s promises in press conferences bearing spectacular fruit. The Reds are functioning like a frictionless hammer bearing down upon opposition anvils, sucker punching and pounding game after game without reprieve. Once the first goal went in against Watford – a ferocious Mane header – the only question remaining was how many goals Liverpool would score before they felt sorry for the Hornets.

LIVERPOOL, ENGLAND - NOVEMBER 06:  Jurgen Klopp, Manager of Liverpool celebrates with Lucas Leiva of Liverpool during the Premier League match between Liverpool and Watford at Anfield on November 6, 2016 in Liverpool, England.  (Photo by Clive Brunskill/Getty Images)
LIVERPOOL, ENGLAND – NOVEMBER 06: Jurgen Klopp, Manager of Liverpool celebrates with Lucas Leiva of Liverpool during the Premier League match between Liverpool and Watford at Anfield on November 6, 2016 in Liverpool, England. (Photo by Clive Brunskill/Getty Images)

The answer: many more. Coutinho, Can, Firmino, Mane again, and Wijnaldum all found the back of the net in yet another game where Liverpool ran riot over their opponents at home. Unlike the famed Suarez-Sturridge-Sterling juggernaut of Spring 2014, the score-load is being equally shared this time, the pressing is intelligent and in packs, and the players (barring perhaps Firmino and Coutinho) seem easily replaceable in case of injury. Just like at Dortmund, Klopp’s system does not privilege any single player, but is built out of the collective work and talent of the squad.

There are still some questions over defense, but a smiling Jurgen won’t mind a few extra goals scored if Liverpool can knock them in with this frequency.

Conte has the door bolted and the music blaring

Moving from one pummeling to another, Chelsea were in fine fettle once again as they put hitherto solid Everton to their blue sword at Stamford Bridge. Unlike Klopp, who needed time to set his gegenpressing monster in motion, Conte has molded his Chelsea side in the image of Juventus in barely two months. Switching to three at the back after the 3-0 defeat to Arsenal has paid handsome dividends as the Blues have scored 16 goals without reply in their next five league games.

Decisions that seemed counterintuitive have proven so obviously correct in hindsight. Of course David Luiz was a great buy, fitting seamlessly into the three-man defense and acting as a conductor from the back. Of course Moses and Alonso are excellent wing-backs, their indefatigable energy matched by their attacking drive. Of course Hazard and Costa are back to their best, dovetailing with synaptic quickness and scoring from near and far. And of course Pedro (!) excels while playing in a free role, making runs without the cloud of defensive duties over his head.

LONDON, ENGLAND - NOVEMBER 05: Antonio Conte, Manager of Chelsea (R) embraces Marcos Alonso of Chelsea (R) after the final whistle during the Premier League match between Chelsea and Everton at Stamford Bridge on November 5, 2016 in London, England.  (Photo by Julian Finney/Getty Images)
LONDON, ENGLAND – NOVEMBER 05: Antonio Conte, Manager of Chelsea (R) embraces Marcos Alonso of Chelsea (R) after the final whistle during the Premier League match between Chelsea and Everton at Stamford Bridge on November 5, 2016 in London, England. (Photo by Julian Finney/Getty Images)

While Hazard, Alonso, Costa, and Pedro rattled in the goals against Everton, the defense’s supreme handling of Lukaku and Bolasie was equally impressive. Koeman’s attacking lineup can cause troubles for the best of teams, yet Lukaku and co. hardly had a sniff against Conte’s steel-reinforced door bolt.

Unlike Liverpool, Chelsea currently seem to have answered puzzles in both attack and defense. Results engender momentum which engenders confidence, and it’s hard seeing this Chelsea side having trouble even against the glowing lights of Man City.

Man United continue the Pogboom and Pogbust cycle

Surprisingly, the form and history books said that ailing Swansea could conceivably grab a point or three against ailing Man United. But as Mourinho watched from the stands, the visitors made quick work of Bob Bradley’s men with three goals in 30 first half minutes. Pogba opened the scoring with a rising volley of immaculate technique, then Ibrahimovic ended his goal drought with two well-worked strikes to seal the result by half time.

This result will frustrate and placate Mourinho in equal measure. The maturity and professionalism with which Man United swatted Swansea aside spoke to their true talents and belied their lowly position in the table. Pogba was the perfect encapsulation of this: he was powerful, decisive, and scored a pulsating goal, yet has gone missing in many matches over the past few weeks, especially the 4-0 rout by Chelsea. Perhaps it was the calm, playmaking presence of Carrick that made the difference here, but at 35 years of age, he can’t play every week and Man United must learn to play well without him.

With Ibrahimovic suspended for the game against Arsenal after the international break, the team will rally around Pogba as the talisman that will make things happen. Unsurprisingly, the form and history books point to a United victory in this game, as Wenger’s horrible record against Mourinho combines with his horrible record at Old Trafford in a maelstrom of misery.

It’s up to Pogba and co. to stop the cycle and start their rise up the table. With the talent of their squad and manager, it is shameful being anywhere else.

Plucky Boro stop City’s ascent to heaven

Tuesday’s heavyweight showdown between Man City and Barcelona seemed like a peek into the future for Guardiola’s side. Here is what we can do when we function on all cylinders, it said. We can outpress the best pressers, outscore the freest scorers, and jive with the best in the world.

Saturday’s tame draw against Middlesbrough was a jolt back into the present. Here is what can still be improved in our squad and playing style, it said. We will find it difficult to break most teams down in the Premier League with our deliberate possession approach, and we cannot be profligate with the chances that we create.

And they did create enough chances. It was more huff puff than blowing Barcelona’s house away, but when de Bruyne fizzed in a world-class cross, Aguero was happy and relieved to meet it and send City ahead. This was followed by more pretty passing, penetrative effort, and lack of scoring success.

Pep may disagree, but this is where the Premier League is different from La Liga and the Bundesliga. A small team who are 1-0 down and have defended with their backs against the wall for the entirety of the match can still conjure up something in the 90th minute, and Boro did. George Friend delivered dangerously, and Marten De Roon finished emphatically to send the visiting crowd into raptures.

As for City, that’s three home draws on the spin. They may still be close to the top based on their blistering early season form, but Pep needs to address this Etihad blip sooner rather than later, because the Premier League is a multi-horse race.

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