Why do ‘They’ speak for Cesc?

Since the days of Copernicus, mankind has gone through an incredible paradigm shift. Nobody played football back then, they do now. Obviously, nobody cared or even knew about football transfers back then, they do now. Nobody spoke absolute ‘bollocks’ about football back then, well, they do it now. But, one thing hasn’t changed; it remains a constant like the unperturbed sunrays or like the enchanting rain droplets. And that is, ‘Everybody hates moving from their motherland to some alien land.’

Cesc Fabregas Arsenal 2008/09 Arsenal V Villarreal (3-0) 15/04/09 at Emirates Stadium The UEFA Champions League Q/Final 2nd Leg Photo Robin Parker Fotosports International

It's my decision, leave me alone!

Francesc “Cesc” Fàbregas is a regular human being, with exceptional footballing skills, but certainly not an exception to the above rule. Being fed with the most amazing pastries (his mother being the owner of a pastry company) in the beautiful coastal town of Villassar de Mar, Cesc had a remarkably nourishing and extremely pleasant childhood. At the tender age of 10, little Cesc would be taken to the Barcelona Academy where the famous ‘El Avi Uyol Barcelona For Life DNA Plantation’ ceremony would take place. Since many won’t know about the convoluted procedure, let me give a clear and concise picture of the same. Normal footballers who would want to ‘shine in life like a crazy diamond’ are inducted into the Barcelona Academy, treated with electric shocks, fed with peculiar shaped dark green leaves, nauseated with stories of Miguel Bernardo Bianquetti, tormented with ‘El Clasico’ video recordings and finally injected with a very high dosage of specially designed Barcelona Deoxyribonucleic acid which, legend has it, was first tested on a teenage ‘Pep’ Guardiola in 1984. After the ‘El Avi Uyol Barcelona For Life DNA Plantation’ ceremony, completely reformed footballers would be asked to take an oath which would keep their ‘heart’ at Barcelona till the end of their life, even if their ‘bodies’ leave Catalunya and travel elsewhere like zombies.

Circa September of 2003, Arsenal decides to send their scout team to the land of Catalunya, and bring to Arsenal, the little dynamo of Cesc Fabregas. From then onwards, he would be an Arsenal player, with his body at London but unfortunately with his ‘heart’ at Catalunya, since, bringing the all important myogenic muscular organ was biologically impossible. With time, Cesc would grow into an important figure in the middle of Arsenal’s attacking setup. He would earn tremendous amount of respect and love from Gooners, the world over. His unparalleled ability of finding the ‘eye-of-the-needle’ passes along with his silken touches on the football, would make him one of the most exciting young footballer in England. He would develop into an imposing figure in the Arsenal midfield and become the club captain, not to the surprise of anyone around.

Football - Arsenal v Dynamo Kiev UEFA Champions League Group Stage Matchday Five Group G - Emirates Stadium, London, England - 25/11/08..Arsenal's Cesc Fabregas Photo via Newscom
Can he concentrate on his game, this season?

Present Day, July of 2010, the transfer market has been shaken to the cumulative turbulence of ‘Advances from Barcelona players’.  Every soul who had been injected with the sacred ‘EAUBFL DNA’, has voiced their opinion about how Cesc loves Barcelona and about how Arsenal have kept him hostage in The Emirates, North London. We, at Arsenal are quite aware of how much a child loves his mother, about how every child abducted by aliens wants to return to their mother-land. Cesc is our captain and club symbol and is most importantly 23 years old, he is a mature adult who can take his own decisions. If he chooses to stay at Arsenal, it won’t be because his ‘Godfather’ wanted him to, but it’ll be because he knows and understands what is right for him. There is no need for these irksome voices from Catalunya. In fact, why do they even speak for Cesc? Are they all agents of our captain? Are they bestowed with the responsibility of speaking on behalf of Cesc due to some universal holy bondage? Will they cry if Cesc cries? Will they collectively break their noses if Cesc breaks his? Will they laugh, if we tickle Cesc? Will they bleed, if we poke Cesc with a needle? Will they jump into the English Channel if Cesc does the same? Well, no, I don’t think so, unless they are completely retarded.

We, at Arsenal, respect other football clubs and their players, except of course Tote-en-ham Hot Spore, but that’s beside the point. We are never refuting the fact that Cesc would want to go back to his ‘holy’ land, but we would really appreciate if you can shut your big mouth and let the player decide where he wants to stay now. Let there be some tranquility so that you can carry on with whatever you want to carry on, and we can concentrate on our football with Cesc being the central figure in our scheme of things. We have told you repeatedly that we have absolutely no intentions of selling our captain, so please try to understand whatever English you can understand and try to take a hike.

With loads of love and without any artificial DNA,

A frustrated Gooner!

62 Responses to “Why do ‘They’ speak for Cesc?”

Read below or add a comment...

  1. Sitaram says:

    Why do ‘they’ speak for him?

    May be he wants them to. ‘cos he cannot. Brilliant strategy Cesc 😉

  2. Jayant says:

    @Sitaram: Finally someone who gets the point. :)

    Cesc is the biggest culprit in the entire saga. A simple ‘No I’m staying put’ or ‘Yes I want out’ would have put this situation to bed a long time back. But he hasn’t done that and continued to sit on the fence while others have gotten their reputations sullied on his behalf. Show me one article where he has categorically said that I want to stay without mentioning that he would love to play for Barca someday. These ambiguous answers only serve to add fuel to the fire.

    IMO, the Spanish NT players would have a lot more contact with Cesc than any of us and there must be a reason why they all have said what they have said. Is it excessive? Probably but I’m quite certain there would’ve been a reason behind it.

    Most of us Barca fans have already moved on a long time ago from such articles. The Barca haters can continue all they want. If he comes, he’ll add depth but if he doesn’t than that means more playing time for JDS and Thiago. Either way, we don’t really care.

  3. sounak says:

    “we don’t really care.”

    Yeah, We know how much you guys ‘dont care’! 😀

  4. Anustup says:

    If Cesh wants to come to FCB, this is the time. Else we have quality players in Alcantara, Dos Santos, Victor Vazquez and others….
    If nurtured, i am sure they can replace Cesc with ease.

  5. Anustup says:


  6. Arun Benny Thomas says:

    Maybe thats exactly what Barca should do, rather than tapping up a player 😀

    Why waste money with the kind of talent coming through the academy !

  7. Jayant says:

    I don’t think Arsenal fans and the club as a whole should be talking about ‘tapping up a player’. :)

    But I do agree with your second statement. I’ve seen the financial statements of the club and while its not as bad as soccernet will have you believe, it is a slight matter of concern. I’ve been saying from the beginning – give the Canteranos their due for waiting patiently.

    @Anustup: Victor Vazquez isn’t that highly rated and will probably be loaned/sold again. The promising ones are the trio of JDS, Thiago and Sergi Roberto along with highly rated DM Oriol Romeu.

  8. Anustup says:

    @Jayant: If you compare Vazquez to the others (as of now), well yes, he isn’t as talented. At least he seems so. But don’t you think that Cesc too wasn’t an exceptionally talented player once. Once given a chance he flourished. I hope the same is the case with VV :)

    @Gooners: Please don’t say “WHO GAVE CESC THE CHANCE ? ”

  9. Jayant says:

    @Anustup: VV is 23 yrs old and over the past couple of years his development has stagnated (due to injuries and a lack of playing time) while both Thiago and JDS have shown far more potential at a much younger age. There are only so many first team spots up for grabs and both JDS and Thiago are much higher up in the pecking order. That said, he’ll provide depth if he stays on.

    As for his comparison with Cesc, the comparison couldn’t be further from the truth. Cesc was a revelation at the youth level and always destined to be a star. He had a brilliant U17 WC in 2003 (player of the tournament and top scorer) as well as a great U17 Euros in 2004 (again Player of the tournament). Probably the development would’ve been slower had he stayed on at Barca but in terms of potential, he trumps VV hands down.

    Don’t let the reports saying Barca didn’t want Cesc as he wasn’t that great fool you. These are generally penned down by EPL centric journos or frustrated Arsenal fans. We had elections that year and so, as per our constitution, couldn’t make any transfers (in or out) during that period. Laporta and Rijkaard actually requested him to stay on but beyond that we couldn’t do much legally to make him stay. We wanted him but couldn’t offer him a contract and a guarantee so he left. Wise move IMO but that doesn’t mean we didn’t want him.

    P.S: I think we should move this discussion to the article about Barca transfers. Sorry Sounak!! :)

  10. Anustup says:

    @Jayant: Loved this part: “Don’t let the reports saying Barca didn’t want Cesc as he wasn’t that great fool you. These are generally penned down by EPL centric journos or frustrated Arsenal fans. ”

  11. sounak says:

    What a bunch of bull-crap! Sour grapes rather!

  12. Arun Benny Thomas says:

    @Farcists ?? Why did “Cesc” come to Arsenal in the first place , was he kidnapped?

  13. Maintain up the excellent function mate. This website article exhibits how nicely you comprehend and know this subject.