Sympathy for the Devil

Sports News - February 28, 2010

Please allow me to introduce myself, I am a man of wealth and ‘taste’….

I think this is a really tough time for Ryan Shawcross and his family. After the horror tackle on Arsenal’s Aaron Ramsey, the lanky English defender has gone into deep mental trauma. We, as passionate football lovers, need to stand by him and his family and if possible, his pet kitten, whose legs are paralyzed due to similar harrowing experiences endured by its master.

We, at Arsenal, deeply regret the excessive revulsion shown towards the Englishman, a true son of his mother-land. We take back all the harsh words thrown at Ryan – we understand that those were uncalled for. We would like to embrace the effervescent Stoke defender and share his ‘grief’. His depression, our despair!

On the eve of 27th Feb, 2010 at The Britannia Stadium, in a moment of ‘inadvertent madness’, our ‘faithful’ son of England decided to split apart one of Aaron Ramsey’s legs. It was understood in the ‘British Media’ that the player was going for the ball but instead went for the leg of the young Welshman, because the latter’s movement was too quick for him. We, at Arsenal, are extremely rueful of the same fact and promise to play at a pace that suits Stoke City and especially Rory Delap’s ‘throwing arms of wonder’. We have even decided to send Theo Walcott to some remote island near Cyprus whenever we encounter Stoke City in the league.

As far as the young and dynamic ‘foreigner’ Aaron Ramsey goes, an operation has taken place and his legs are ‘in place’. He will be brought back to London and further medical inspections will be completed. He won’t be able to play football for the next eight months, but will get a welcome break from his demanding schedule. On the other hand, the ‘awfully distressed’ Shawcross, who has been selected for England duty, will have to report to Fabio Capello within a few days. Ryan Shawcross, a paradigm of ‘peaceful existence’, who incidentally also tried rupturing Arsenal’s Francis Jeffers’s leg three years ago, won’t get a minute of solitude, where he could wash away the ‘apprehension’ inside him. Is that justice? NO, it isn’t!

We, as responsible football fans, are needed to stand beside the ‘Englishman’ in his hour of profound agony. Let us close our eyes and observe a minute of silence, while trying to recollect that moment when Ryan Shawcross’ reckless yet ‘unintended’ tackle gave the in-form Welshman Aaron Ramsey a new ‘life’.

Amen.

  • So what exactly do you recommend needs to be done? Shawcross put behind bars for going with his all in a 50-50 challenge, i mean give that guy a break, arsenal fans needs to grow up. Not sure if that was even a red!!!

  • @Nipun: Exactly. That wasn’t a red. It was an over-reaction from the ref’s perspective. I say, give Shawcross the ‘Knighthood’, he really deserves it!

    And we really need to give the guy a break, such a poor innocent sweet little thing!

  • hahahahha, he is too young for knighthood :p,anyways wasnt it gallas who launched into a no holds barred tackle at the reebok which was termed “an assault” he got away with a yellow, its just that ramsey was unfortunate to come out this badly hurt, some perspective please.No ones a saint here no one is a devil, its just things blown giganticly outta proportion. Get well soon Ramsey!!

  • BTW terrific article 😀

  • @Nipun: Thanks! :)
    Get well soon, Ramsey!

  • Do you also believe that this is a ‘conspiracy’ against Arsenal?

    I feel that is not the case. Arsenal is a team most potent at retaining possession amonst the ‘Big 4’ and the less skillful teams find themselves in a position where there only option is to HARD TACKLE to break your play. Ramsey was just unfortunate, that he suffered a horrendous injury :(

  • Nobody

    Conspiracy against Arsenal??…The team which was one of the most physical team during the late nineties and the early noughties (or what ever you call it), when the likes of Gilberto, Viera, Pires, Campbell, Parlour, Bergampp etc. played. This was evident by the staggering no. of red cards received by the team during those years. Now, since these guys cannot be physical considering their physique and stature, such an hue and cry is made about the tackles they suffer. Anyway, I believe it was an unfortunate incident and not an intended one. Get Well Soon Ramsey!!

  • This was brilliant. Typifies the anger at the club. But poor old Shawcross :(

  • Thanks @akarsh.
    And srsly, poor ol’ Shawcry! 😐

  • Somnath

    What exactly do Arsenal fans want ? Football should turn into a non-physical game ?

    No really, all this conspiracy talk is boring. It is highly unfortunate that Ramsey got injured. But players have often suffered similar injuries, Henrik Larson suffered a similar injury & came back better than ever.

    Isn’t is very obvious that Arsenal are a soft team & they can’t take physical football ? Do you expect other teams to turn on a blind eye to their obvious weakness ? Such incidents rarely happened when Vieira was around. Or Dixon-Winterburn-Bould-Adams were around. Arsenal could cope with physical football then. In fact in 90s, they typified the rough English game.

    The current team needs muscle, a strong player in the middle, & sadly Wenger hasn’t done anything to fix it.

  • I like Sounak’s biting sarcasm in this post! Hilarious read! “pet kitten”… ROTFL!

  • @Somnath: The thing is, after Vieira left, we decided that we are going to donate a leg every alternate season to Football Association. It’s some kind of a ridiculous ritual I know, but that’s how it is! We donated Diaby’s in 2006, Dudu’s in 2008 and now Ramsey’s in 2010. We are open to career-threatening tackles, it’s beautiful.

    And yeah we are soft like a candy, or like a melting candle, you can say! :-(

    Stoke City are strong, hard, technical, they are THE REAL MEN! * respect *

  • @Sanish: Thanks mate! 😉

  • Somnath

    Sarcasm doesn’t hide the real fact [;)]