English Premier League Round-2 Results:

Arsenal – Blackpool6 – 0
West Bromwich – Sunderland1 – 0
Stoke – Tottenham1 – 2
Everton – Wolves1 – 1
Birmingham – Blackburn2 – 1
West Ham – Bolton1 – 3
Wigan Athletic – Chelsea0 – 6
Newcastle – Aston Villa6 – 0
Fulham – Man Utd.2 – 2
Manchester City – Liverpool3 – 0

Wimbledon over guys, this is EPL
6-0, 6-0, 6-0 – before you presume it to be another Roger Federer demolishing victory, let me tell you that TheHardTackle deals only with pure football. We can criticize the English Premier League for anything but for a lack of goals. And it has not been only the powerhouses of English football, like Chelsea or Arsenal, mastering the act – even newly promoted teams like Blackpool or Newcastle United are scoring goals galore.

Newcastle United's Kevin Nolan (C) celebrates scoring against Aston Villa during their English Premier League soccer match in Newcastle, northern England August 22, 2010. REUTERS/Nigel Roddis (BRITAIN - Tags: SPORT SOCCER) NO ONLINE/INTERNET USAGE WITHOUT A LICENCE FROM THE FOOTBALL DATA CO LTD. FOR LICENCE ENQUIRIES PLEASE TELEPHONE ++44 (0)Scintillating display by The Toon  Army

The Toon Tune
Chelsea’s demolition of Wigan or Arsenal’s thumping win over Blackpool  pitifully exposed the difference in class prevailing between the teams. But, the way The Toon Army obliterated Villa deserves special mention. It has been a bizarre season so far for both these teams. While Newcastle lost their opening day fixture against the more illustrious United from Manchester, Aston Villa produced an impressive display to outclass the Hammers. Newcastle deservedly tore Villa apart with Adam Carrol scoring a sensational hattrick – but the debate over introduction of technology refuses to die ,with another clear goal disallowed because of human error – this time Ashley Young being robbed off his name on the score-sheet.

Theo can run…. run riots
Arsen Wenger has proved to the world that with dedication and proper grooming, a sprinter can be converted into a footballer – here is the end result of the Frenchman’s research – presenting Theo Walcott – the hattrick hero for Arsenal. Walcott, 21, played the starring role for the North London club as he found the back of the net thrice in their pounding victory over newly promoted Blackpool.

Theo Walcott celebrates Scoring 1st goal Arsenal 2010/11 Arsenal V Blackpool 21/08/10 The Premier League Photo Robin Parker Fotosports International Photo via NewscomTheo Walcott: the hattrick hero for Arsenal

Terry-fic display
For people who thought that Terry-fic would turn into Terry-ble with the departure of certain Ricardo Carvalho to Madrid – it’s time to eat your own words. The captain fantastic for Chelsea put all the doubts to rest with a fabulous display in the first two matches of the season. The veteran defender marshalled his defensive resources expertly to produce two consecutive clean-sheets for his team. He might have lost a yard of pace, but his precision and passion for the game still remains as unadulterated as ever. No wonder Ancelotti holds him in high regard.

John Terry Chelsea 2010/11 Chelsea V Manchester United (1-3) 08/08/10 The FA Community Shield Photo Robin Parker Fotosports International Photo via NewscomCaptain Fantastic: Terrific Terry

Will the real Liverpool please stand up?
After a passionate performance against the Gunners last weekend, The Reds of last season returned to disappoint the fans with yet another uninspiring display at the City of Manchester stadium. The 3-0 mauling could not have come at a worse time than this. Even Europa League seems to be a distant dream for the Anfield faithful, if a string of such pathetic performances refuses to dry up. Though it is too early to press the panic button, but the Reds need to up their game a couple of notches if they intend to make their way back into Europe’s top flight football.

July 28, 2010 - Skopje, FYROM - epa02264143 Liverpool's coach Roy Hodgson adress to the journalists during the press conference in Skopje, The Former Yugoslav Republic of Macedonia, 28 July 2010. Liverpol FC will face FC Rabotnicki in the qualification for Europa League in the Macedonian capitol Skopje on 29 July 2010.Roy Hodgson: tough times ahead

Tale of a prolific striker named “Own Goal
Sir Alex Ferguson has excavated yet another gem at Old Trafford. Little known Own Goal has been the most prolific goal-scorer for the Red Devils, along with Wayne Rooney, in their previous season. This year, when Rooney is trying hard to get back to his old rhythm, Own Goal is continuing to impress one and all with a goal per match strike ratio. He came to the Devils’ rescue in the match against Fulham with a late strike. It remains a mystery as to why SAF prefers to use him only as a late second half substitute. TheHardTackle demands his inclusion in the first XI for every Manchester United match, hereafter.

21 Responses to “Premier League Round-Up: The Best And The Rest”

Read below or add a comment...

  1. Soccerfan says:

    Witty… enjoyed it thoroughly… “Own Goal” lolzzz :)

  2. redNblack_blood says:

    u forgot one thing deb…. this was the weekend when penalties were missed and eyebrows were raised over the penalty takers….

  3. Kris says:

    Indeed, it was thought that Mr. O. Goal had gone on loan to Arsenal scoring in his first match with the assist of Pepe Reina….but he’s back in his true colours and seems to have agreed a deal with ManUtd until Berbatov retires :)

  4. sounak says:

    Regarding Liverpool, I dont see them finishing above Spurs and City this season, again. So, that makes it 6th place for them. Apart from Gerrard, everbody looks very ordinary to me. Lucas defines the word ‘ordinary’ or rather ‘average’.
    I might be wrong completely by May 2011, but for that something drastic has to be done by Hodgson. At least, Torres and Joe Cole have to perform at thr best!

  5. Shubhasish says:

    @sounak: Liverpool is too big a team to be kept out of Europe for 2 successive seasons. Apart from Steve G we have quite a few quality players in Reina, Torres, Cole, Jovanovich, Maxi, Poulsen… are all class. Lets give them and Roy some time to gel well. As the author suggested, it’s too early to press the panic button. I am sure we can pose big challenge for the EPL title by Jan 2011.

    Also I do not quite agree on the Terry part. He is not tested at all in the 2 games. Let him face some strong attacking teams with quick wingers/forwards, Terry will get exposed. He is on the verge of getting “Terrible”. :)

  6. sounak says:

    Ok, fine, we’ll wait and watch. But, I just want you to be practical. You shud understand the ‘strengths’ of Spurs and Citeh. Big club and all is fine. Anfield, if kept a fortress, then they shud be ok!

  7. Biplab says:

    +1 sounak. spurs and citeh are real contenders for the 4th position this time around… i will not be surprised to see both of them in top-4… arsenal is in real danger of losing out on ucl berth… and for pool, only god can save them… pool fans should not have any complaints with a place in the europa league :-p

  8. @ Shubhasish- Poulsen is past his prime .. trust me.. Juve fans are happy he is gone.. i agree with sounak.. atm i dnt see pool qualifying for UCL for the 11-12 season

  9. Subhasish says:

    @Biplab: Let’s pls wait and watch before making an premature judgment. i m sure u will hav quite a lot of surprise in store for u…

    @sachin maddan: For 4.5m Poulsen is a good bet. He is a proven talent and has the exp of playing in German, Spanish and Italian league. He might not be that gr8 for Juve, but we needed someone like him to strengthen our defensive midfield wit the inevitable departure of Mascha. For the goals, other than Torres and Gerrard, keep an eye on Jovanovic, this guy is real talent. I still believe that we can finish above Spurs and Mancity this season.

  10. Subhasish says:

    On a completely unrelated note, wat do you guys think of Barca’s shameful tactics? First for Cesc and nw for Mascha. I used to like them for their brand of attacking football. but all the respect is lost now because of these cheap tactics. sad for football :(

  11. A Blaugrana says:

    Yes, this resentment is understandable 😐

  12. sounak says:

    @Subhasish: They.Are.A.Disgrace.To.Football.
    The sad part is, on the field, they still play the best effin’ football in the whole world!

    @Biplab: That was a funny comment about Arsenal losing on the UCL berth! Haha! Wenger, in his 14 years has never let that happen. Even if he plays 8 yr old kids, we’ll still at least finish 4th!

  13. Jayant says:

    @Sounak: Do you want me to share articles on how Arsenal dealt with the Squillaci issue? It’s all good to joke around but let’s not get too ahead of ourselves shall we? Do you REALLY want me to share what Sevilla thought of YOUR club and how that derailed their CL campaign? Didn’t think so. I’m down with a bit of banter but consistent trashing of a club for no reason isn’t really on. I’ve said it before n I’ll say it again – Everybody does it. You’re jus feeling bad coz you were on the wrong side.

    I’ve tried my level best to ignore your posts n your mails but you jus don’t seem to stop.

  14. Not a Devil says:

    “derailed their CL campaign”
    ohh common…losing at home to a debutant club….& u are talking about their derailment…
    Barca sucks….shit club

  15. @Not a Devil: I’ve read your comments before and frankly they don’t really add much to a discussion so I’ll keep this short – try and read on how Squillaci created a fuss about the transfer and made a scene in the dressing room a week before Sevilla’s game against Braga. Oh and also try and dig up some articles on how more than a few Arsenal players spoke about bringing Squillaci to London along with Wenger. I would share the links with you but I’m sensing it wouldn’t change much so…

    P.S: Try and keep off English papers. They don’t do a good job of translating comments. Just saying.

  16. Not a Devil says:

    @Jayant Srivastava: o really..so what made u to comment on my post??? I don`t comment to add something to a discussion..i just present my POV…if u don`t like it so be it.

  17. sounak says:

    “consistent trashing of a club for no reason” – This is the biggest joke on the face of earth. Its an insult to humanity.
    Why the hell is it only Barca in the news for doing it? Why are the other clubs not involved? Why does Barca players talk about transfers, their desire to play with X, Y and Z? Why does they have to open their mouth when Guardiola can deal with it? Why cant they just shut the hell and concentrate on effing football?

    You’ll be tired of ignoring shit from people, because loads and loads of them will be thrown at you, the sooner you accept that Barca is a disgrace when it comes to transfer market dearlins, the better will life will be, you’ll have lesser sleepless nights!

    PS: I still hold on to my comment about their ‘on-field’ football.

  18. First up, I don’t really have sleepless nights. Frankly, I understand how the market works and how the media likes to feed trash. Its up to you to decipher what is really true and what isn’t. You go to Sun and Goal and read stuff n then you come and post it here. Ever bothered to read what the player actually said in Spanish. Didn’t think so. It’s the English media. Do you really think they’ll print it when Arsenal and Chelsea do it? Not really.
    I’m not for one second saying what Barca or Arsenal do is right. Frankly it isn’t but thats how it works nowadays. The game is a business and the clubs do what they think will save them money. Everyone does it. You jus feel bad coz you were on the wrong end. Like I said, I could give you 5 links right now containing statements from Wenger and a few Arsenal players about how they’d love to play with Squillaci. Don’t think the English media caught on (expected) but the Spanish ones did. Read my previous post about how it caused a lot of problems in the Sevilla dressing room. Hell, I could go further back and dig up more stuff on how Wenger does business but that wouldn’t serve the purpose.
    And about why the players say it – there is an article by a Spanish journalist on the number of times a Barcelona player was asked about Cesc when they went in for an interview. One could probably waive it the first time but if they keep asking you, you answer sooner rather than later.
    Anyways, feel free to trash the club if you like. I jus thought ppl would have the intelligence to see through. Guess not. Cheers.

  19. Jayant.. it’s time Barcelona hire a PR agent to ensure that the so-called ‘mistranslation’ by the English press doesn’t happen again. If the players are being asked such kinds of questions, the club should give them training on how to evade such questions rather than letting them have a free voice on whom they want to have in their team. Barca have only managed to rub a lot of clubs the wrong way this summer, and it will take time for them to regain all the lost respect.

  20. @CrazyGooner: And Arsenal haven’t with the way they’ve gone on about it? Jus coz you guys do it to smaller clubs?

    I’m no PR agent, and I don’t claim that Barca are saints. But it seems you guys jus seem to miss the whole point. Anyways it’s pretty late here and I have some course work to do and I don’t have the time/energy to go through the entire argument.
    Like I said, feel free to trash as much as your heart desires. I don’t really comment much nor will I if the discussion isn’t engaging. :)

  21. Kudos for staying up late in the night to defend your club :-) No where did I even say Arsenal dont do this, but atleast Wenger keeps everything under wraps and keeps the club reputation intact. I get the point you are trying to make, but you conveniently forgot the fact that Wenger willingly let Henry go to your club, despite being the most talismanic player the Gunners boasted of. You know yourself that Barca don’t need Fabregas at the moment, and Le Professor is also aware of the implications of his young prodigy rotting on the Catalan bench, which is why he is reluctant to let the guy go. However, your club has merely tried to unsettle him and bring him over, merely because it was for political motivations and not in the greater interest of football, which is what I gather from the long saga so far.

    So, if you think being on the wrong end is the reason for our frustration, why don’t you understand what Barcelona has actually been trying to do? I only hope they don’t give any more mindless comments to the media and stick to their on-field displays. It’ll do a world of good for every football fan out there, I am sure.